Faculties of Mind

I have so many things going on that will change our lives forever
I have so many things I look forward to
I will keep my chin up with my head held high
I will not be defeated
I will try and I will do it
I will never stop learning
I will always be searching
I will keep praying
and everything I do, I do it for you my dear son.

"Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.

For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.

In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."

Tears In Heaven - Mother

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un ( انّا للہ و انّا الیہ راجعون)

My mother in law passed away on March 10, 2015
Exactly a year after opah passed away
the same date
midnight
same time
she was 69 years old

3 days before she passed away, she was transferred from ICU to normal ward
Doctor gave us a slight of hope
by telling us, the infection is gone
she probably remain vegetative
so we have to learn how to take care of her in this condition
dia sedar tapi non-responsive
my surfacing teman mak dari pagi ke malam

on the day she passed away, my surfacing can't visit her sebab kerja sampai malam
It was 11pm when he got home
It's raining heavily
Pukul 12 masuk tidur and I heard engine car running
aku call tanya nak pergi mana
he said the hospital call...mak dah nazak
aku tidurkan hamza and tertidur sekali langsung tak sedar apa

Masa tidur, I dream of mak,
she's lying on our living room dalam keadaan vegetative
she just stared at me
Then I felt someone touch my leg
it was my surfacing
"Mak dah takda..." 
he said softly
I immediately hug him
he said wait till morning and he went to mak's house

Pagi datang tengok mak
bila bukak kain tutup muka I was stunned
Masya'Allah cantiknya muka mak
Macam tidur dalam senyum
berseri sangat
even my mom said that

Masa lepas mandikan I kissed her for the last time
tak pergi sampai kubur sebab hamza dah bangun
semuanya dipermudahkan
cuaca yang baik
surfacing kata masa di kubur jadi mendung
lepas kebumi panas semula
Alhamdulillah
semuanya mudah

I knew her way before our marriage
She is the best mother in law
tak pernah marah, tak pernah tinggi suara, tak pernah campur hal kami berdua
She's a cool mom
selalu senyum je and never fail to say thank you
kami tinggal selang satu lorong je
so whenever datang jumpa dia, dia akan kata
"terima kasih lawat mak" walaupun jumpa selalu

I will always remember her smile
her warm hugs
her cooking
she made the best creme caramel pudding
masa sebelum kahwin,
bila nak keluar dating ada je benda mak bagi tapau untuk makan
I am so lucky to be part of her life

I have faith that she's not in pain at all
sebab masa dia sedated and sedar semula bila tanya dia sedar ke kami datang
atau rasa sakit ke
dia kata dia langsung tak sedar
I am hoping dari masa dia coma sampai vegetative tu dia macam tidur je
tak rasa apa
she never knew her leg was gone

I know that she's in the best place now
Mak baik sangat menjaga suami yang sakit sehingga lah ke akhir hayat
tak pernah menyakiti orang lain
Oh dear Allah, she has done so much for her family
Please forgive her sins and grant her a place in Jannah

Rest well, mak
You will always be in our heart and our doa.

Allahyarham Mariah Abd Talib
(16 September 1946- 10 Mac 2015)