Karma

ceast to exist

There's so many things...
happened to me lately.
that's explain my dissapearance....

March...
It should be the happiest month for me..
but it seems to be like a rollercoaster ride..
ups and down...
mostly down
down and down...

but then again the "ups" keep rescuing me...
i've been thru something so emotional
that makes me feel like running away...
feels like doing nothing right at all
feels like regretting but wanting it so bad
feels like become invisible so i can still hear
what other ppl think of me
feels like love and hate collides
feels like becoming Hitler
feels like losing my soft spot
feels like ignoring the facts
and trap in a state of denial
feels so numb...
until I can't feel anything anymore...

and still feeling it.

I know i'm gonna be alright soon
I know things will turn around
I know I just need to relax and fly away for a moment
and I know by doing that
I'm hurting other people
people that I care and care bout me
people that's so important...
I can't ever ignore for once.

having said that...
I AM VERY SORRY...
for my mentally unhealthy thinking.
for my unstable emotional drive.
for my harsh action and reaction.
for my sudden changes of attitude.
for my ignorance and coldness.

I'm really sorry...
but I do believe...
isn't everything we do in life
a way to be loved a little more?